


Scream

by heartswells



Series: Eruri Week 2016 [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eruri Week, Eruri Week 2016, Eruri Week Day Three: First Time, M/M, Religious Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 08:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartswells/pseuds/heartswells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But in this final shadow, Levi screamed to God his first and final prayer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scream

 

Their maneuver gear could not contest the sleet; beneath the torrents, they became mere machines of suicide. The wires writhed beneath the wind, and the grapples failed to latch in the ice-slicked wilderness. Their fingers became clumsy with numbness from the venomous cold, and their agility disintegrated. The sky was merciless, their bodies useless, and their formations devastated. 

 

There was an outpost decaying in the forest. The rotting wood leaked and shivered as the wind whipped the walls with ferocity, but it’s moldy scent and  tattered roof almost felt cozy. The troops had been ravaged, and slowly, hour by hour, they stumbled through the rusted door and regrouped. But it was like reassembling a shattered mirror; irreparable, destined to be incomplete and damaged. Moblit wore a watch; he muttered that a full day had passed. The rain had not relented. Erwin had not appeared.

 

There was only foreboding. The darkness felt eternal; the Earth felt vengeful. Mercilessly, they were punished, and the lecherous face of winter leered at them with its lethal eyes.

 

On the third day, Hange lit candles for the souls of the dead. 

 

For Erwin.

 

“ _ Not even he could survive this, Levi, _ ” they had whispered. 

 

He left the hut and fell to his knees. The wind howled its bloodcurdling warcry in the trees; beneath his knees, the ground was soft and submissive, as if it was rotting away beneath the flood.

 

He looked to the heavens, and he screamed.

 

The idea of a god had always infuriated Levi. God was a fool’s game in the underground, a fallacy to manipulate the naive. Levi had never believed in God, and if he had, he would have hated him. 

 

But in this final shadow, Levi screamed to God his first and final prayer. He prayed for his own selfishness and his fear of loss. He prayed for the mercy of God and for his generosity to spare the life of Erwin Smith. He prayed with desperation, because he was helpless and could do nothing more. He prayed in sacrifice, promising the exchange of his own life for the life of Erwin Smith.

 

It was an inhuman prayer, reaching deeper than the roots of the trees and the bones long buried in the catacombs the earth. His screams reached into the very root of God and became an act of retribution. He embraced damnation. He confessed his humanity. He begged, with his bleeding knees in the dirt, for forgiveness. He screamed in a wordless, hopeless surrender.

 

He screamed until numbness. He screamed until he collapsed without knowledge of his name. He laid there until his body submitted to God and fell into unconsciousness. He allowed the elements to ravage him in sacrifice. And whether by the existence or inexistence of God, Erwin Smith entered the outpost with a broken shoulder and a spared soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick two hour write that's probably riddled with mistakes that will make me cringe when I reread it in two weeks. Mostly, I just like fiddling with religious themes. I'm not sure where the fascination comes from.


End file.
